He's coming over on Friday so you need to stay home all day and wait for him

These could be the words that every stay at home mom dreads. Or at least I do. Being homebound all day is really a recipe for disaster for me. I need to leave the house and do at least one errand. I must mix with the outside world. If I don't, it's like this awful depression sinks in and I get crabby and down and just flat-out pissed off.

So when Toad told me I have to make myself homebound this Friday, I was hot.

For the last 3 + years, Toad has wanted to put in lights throughout the landscaping. I think his dream visual is to have the house lit up like a menora on the 10th day of Hanukah. And I'm okay with this. In fact, it's probably a good idea considering all of the recent break-ins in the hood. But the issue is the fact that we don't have enough electrical outlets.

So, here comes Toad....

There is a man at Toad's work (let's call him Gregg) that feels Toad has really shown him the ropes when it comes to hustling wine. When he's got a question or needs help, apparently Toad drops everything and takes care of him. As a result, Gregg wants to pay it forward. Well, more like pay it even. He wants to do a lil somethin somethin for Toad.

Ding Ding Ding!

So Toad tells me tonight that Gregg's gonna come over this Friday and put in a few electrical boxes outside.

Here's the conversation:

T: So, I need you to stay home this Friday and wait for Gregg to come over.

J: Who is Gregg and what's he going to be doing at our house?

T: This is the guy that I work with that is super cool. He's gonna put in those electrical boxes I've been meaning to have done since we moved in.

J: Umm. How much is this gonna set us back? Because right now electrical boxes aren't real high on the priority list. But a car top carrier is for our trip in 3 weeks.

T: RELAX. He's doing it for free. He wants to do me a favor since I always help him.

J: Does this Gregg know what he's doing?

T: Yeah, yeah, of course, Stacey. He used to do electrical work all the time. But with the economy drying up, he scrapped the electrical business and moved into wine. He's a good guy. Man, he's super cool.

J: Yeah, you told me he was cool, but this is serious. Jacking with electrical could be fatal.

T: Oh no, he won't hurt himself. Listen, last year, Brian at work, well his entire bathroom caved in. It's a long story but the roof collapsed and his toilet fell through to the basement. Gregg rewired everything. The bathroom is awesome now. And Brian hasn't had any problems. Well, he's divorced now but it had nothin to do with the bathroom.

J: Well good for Brian, but I'm still a little concerned about this.

T: You know, to be safe, why don't you call Vince at State Farm tomorrow and make sure we're all paid up on our homeowners insurance.

J: Are you fucking kidding me?! You know I am tired of these "jack of all trades" guys doing work here. Last year you sent the guy that owns the fish dept at Nino's to blow out the sprinklers. I found him in the basement playing pool by himself. We need to start hiring professionals. Not these hackballs. And I was thinking about taking off on Friday and hitting Birch Run.

T: Fine, I'll just get done early on Friday and help him myself. We get along real good, so we'll be fine.

J: Thinking in her head ("Great, this is the same man that can't hang a picture or assemble a crib, but he's gonna be Gregg's chewbacca and light up the yard. Shit. We're doomed.")