Robitussin and Diet Coke Speedballs

What's happened in our house this week is nothing new. I've lived through it many times before. Even so, when it happens, I get nasty, short-tempered and super crabby.

Andrew started getting sick and then I got sick. Oh, and Katherine was burning some new chompers.

Andrew was on a Zyrtec and Cough syrup continuous drip and I was popping Sudafeds as often as I could remember I needed to take them. Sometimes it was every couple hours, others times it was every 10 hours. When I made my way to the cabinet I hit the bottle.

After 5 days of pure misery, Andrew coughing so hard he vomited (three times to be exact) and Katherine getting up every couple of hours and screaming, I did what any delerious parent would do. I called the pediatrician for an appt and planned on begging for antibiotics. I even considered placing a nice classy bottle of wine on the exam table so she could see what was in it for her if she wrote me a scrip.

I drag the weasels up to the doc. The entire car ride was a boatload of similar questions:

"Am I gonna get a shot for this? What's she gonna do to me? Will this cough kill me? When will she let me go back to school? Will she give me a shot? Am I gonna get the flu shot?"

The doc (who anyone would call a MILF) comes in, examines Andrew and tells me he looks fine. And she shoots me this look like the kid's totally healthy and I'm just up there for kicks. She tells me she is shocked by the symptoms I am describing to her.

Then she asks the million dollar question:

"So what have you all been doing to try to get better?"

Ohhhh - here it comes, honey. You better stand back and grab the door, cause Janko ain't in the mood.

Janko lights up, "Well, he's been sick for 5 days. Here's just one scenario. I ran to Target, came home and within 30 seconds of being home Andrew tells me he can't stop the coughing. And for whatever reason my husband, who is making fantasy trades on the 2002 Dell we have tells me he never heard him cough once. Within 10 seconds our entire kicthen floor is covered in vomit. Oh and it's 9:30 at night and he's crying cause he hates throwing up and I'm yelling at my husband because he's not helping cause he's still trying to piece together what the hell just happened. I have barf on my socks, my pants, my shirt and all over my chest. All the commotion wakes up the baby. Now it's 9:45 at night and everyone is either yelling or crying. Andrew tells me he needs ME to sleep with him in his twin bed all night. And he's justified this because he tells me Dad works harder and needs his rest. So I sleep with him all night and wake up with a jacked up neck. Oh, did I tell you I wake up the next morning at 5:45 cause that's when some new chompers were poking through for Katherine so I had to tend to her?

When your office opened at 8:37 (not 8:30 like it's supposed to) I explained to Diana that I need an appt asap. She got me in.

So, to answer your question about how I've been dealing with this - I have been feeding Zyrtec and Cough Syrup to my child at every meal. And me, well, I feel like shit, too. I take Sudafed sinus and cold pills which make me super loopy and tired. And we all know, it's no good if Mom is out of whack. To get me up and operating I chase it with a Diet Coke. I call them Robitussin and Diet Coke Speed Balls. I do this about 4 times a day."

She smiled and softly said, "there's no need for him to be on an antibiotic. Julie will be in shortly to give both kids their flu shots. And you. You try and get some rest. You seem a bit overwhelmed."

As we left the dr's office, Andrew says, "Mom, let's hit Wal Mart on the way home. If we spend some time in the toy aisle we'll all feel better. You know Mom, Wal Mart. Save money. Live better. We all need it."